The Difference Between Military and Civilian Obituaries and Memorial Writings
Obituaries and memorial writings serve as a way to honor and remember the deceased, offering a lasting tribute to their life and legacy. However, military and civilian obituaries differ significantly in tone, structure, and focus. Military obituaries follow formal traditions that emphasize service, duty, and sacrifice, while civilian obituaries allow for more personal storytelling and emotional expression. Understanding these differences can help families craft a tribute that truly reflects their loved one’s life.
What Defines a Military Obituary?
Military obituaries are often structured, formal, and concise, highlighting the individual’s service, rank, achievements, and contributions to their country.
Key Features of a Military Obituary
Full Name and Rank – Always includes military title (e.g., Sergeant John Smith, U.S. Army).
Branch of Service & Years Served – Specifies military branch and service length.
Awards and Commendations – Mentions medals, honors, or distinctions received.
Duty Stations & Deployments – Often includes notable missions or tours.
Official Military Language – Uses terms like “faithful service,” “valor,” and “duty to country.”
Final Honors & Burial Location – Indicates if a military burial will take place (e.g., Arlington National Cemetery).
Example of a Military Obituary:
Lieutenant Colonel Jane Doe, U.S. Air Force (Ret.), 1948-2025, passed away peacefully on February 20, 2025. A decorated officer, she served her country for 30 years, completing multiple overseas deployments and earning the Bronze Star for meritorious service. A military funeral with full honors will be held at Arlington National Cemetery on February 28.
What Defines a Civilian Obituary?
Civilian obituaries are often more personal and narrative-driven, focusing on the individual’s family, career, hobbies, and relationships rather than structured service details.
Key Features of a Civilian Obituary
Personalized Introduction – Highlights their personality and legacy.
Career & Passions – Details work achievements, hobbies, and community impact.
Family & Loved Ones – Lists surviving and predeceased relatives.
Memorial Service Information – Provides funeral or memorial service details.
Less Formal, More Expressive – Includes heartfelt words, quotes, and anecdotes.
Example of a Civilian Obituary:
“John had a way of making everyone feel seen and heard. Whether he was playing his guitar at family gatherings or sharing wisdom with his students, he touched so many lives. I’ll never forget the way he encouraged me to pursue my dreams, and I know his legacy will live on in all of us.”
Key Differences Between Military and Civilian Obituaries
How Do Military and Civilian Memorial Writings Differ?
Memorial tributes, speeches, and headstone inscriptions also differ between military and civilian settings.
Military Memorial Writings:
Concise and dignified (e.g., “Faithful Service to Country”).
Often include military mottos or branch-specific language.
Symbolic phrases like “Duty, Honor, Country” or “Semper Fidelis” (Always Faithful).
Limited personal anecdotes due to formal structure.
Example of a Military Headstone Inscription:
Lieutenant Colonel John Smith, U.S. Army (Ret.)
1940 – 2025
“Duty, Honor, Country”
Civilian Memorial Writings:
Personal, poetic, and emotionally expressive.
May include favorite quotes, religious scriptures, or song lyrics.
Often highlights personality traits and relationships.
No strict length or format restrictions.
Example of a Civilian Headstone Inscription:
John Smith
1940 – 2025
“Beloved Husband, Father & Friend”
Choosing the Right Memorial Wording
When writing an obituary or memorial tribute, consider:
Did they serve in the military? If so, including their rank and honors is appropriate.
What was most important in their life? Highlight career, passions, and relationships.
Would they prefer formal recognition or a more personal touch?
